The adventures of

KID Porcelain

Toilet Whisperer

Chapter One

"Love of the Game"

Dear John ~

Thank you for sending us details of your proposed photo record attempt:

Most Toilets in the Wild

Sampling of nearly 1000 sightings

Shut the barn door

Ditching the low profile

Happy Bidet

Grass roots movement

First date

Rosé all day

Unfortunately, after reviewing your application, we cannot accept your proposal for a Guinness World Records title.

While we do not underestimate your efforts, it is a little too specialized for a body of reference as general as Guinness World Records.

YOUR RECORD APPLICATION HAS NOT BEEN ACCEPTED AND GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS DOES NOT ENDORSE THIS ACTIVITY IN ANY WAY.

Many thanks,
Guinness Management Team

John wads up the letter and chucks it in the waste bin - he can't believe it.

I can't believe it.

KID Porcelain is also destroyed by the news.

Who do they think they are - the United Nations?

Actual Guinness World Records:

Most Number of Candles Extinguished by Farts

Most Toilet Seats Broken By a Head in One Minute

Tallest Toilet Paper Tower in 30 Seconds

Fastest Motorized Toilet

Most Times Passing a Pen Through a Roll of Toilet Paper in 30 Seconds

Most Times Passing a Pen Through a Roll of Toilet Paper in 60 Seconds

Was it so far fetched to imagine there could be a Most Toilets in the Wild?

The KID in John tries not to dwell on the rejection, but the disillusionment tears at him like one of those Superhero Movie moments where a good character's dream is crushed and the disappointment turns them into a dark villain of the streets.

The spiral continues.

KID hits rock bottom.

Quality of work really suffers.

finally, in a moment of clarity, John refuses to let the disappointment define Kid.

KID didn't set out for records or fame.

John rededicates himself to finding Kid a higher purpose.

Kid starts to think big picture.

Go KID Porcelain

Go KID Porcelain

#GoKIDPorcelainGo

Read More


Preface

"Behind the Porcelain"

Chapter One

'Love of the Game"

Chapter Two

"The Frog Becomes a Prince"

Chapter Three

"Livin' the Dream"